Mad World
by mystic-angel1
Summary: Heero feels he doesn't deserve the love of his friends. Or Relena. And it takes Relena, and a video, to show Heero how much he is really loved. 1xR (obviously..^_~)


Mad World  
Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing. And I don't own Mad World.  
  
A/N: Tear Jerker. I warn you. It's very sad!  
______________________________________________________________________________  
  
Everyone was trying to help him.  
  
Make him feel better about who he was. Did they understand?   
  
No. Never. How could they? The other pilots could, maybe.  
  
But they were to wrapped up in their own lives to notice the unhappiness in his.  
  
Unhappiness? That was an understatement. Duo, Trowa, Quatre and Wufei...  
  
He didn't deserve their friendship. Nor did he deserve the affection he got from Relena. Or her love.   
  
Would she still love him if she had seen all the things he had done?  
  
He'd demolished entire cities, eliminated entire populations.   
  
Just like that little girl andher dog.   
  
And yet, even now as the war is over, people talked to him kindly,  
  
and didn't hold anything against him. Don't they understand?   
  
They run around, smiling, as if life has meaning.  
  
They rushed past him in a whirl, even his bestfriend.  
  
Duo had Hilde, a job, everything a guy could want.   
  
His life seemed to be going somewhere....  
  
~***~*~~**~~**~*~*~*~**~*~*~**~***~*~*~*~*~**~*~**~**~*~*~**~*~*~*~~**~*~*~*  
All around me are familiar faces  
Worn out places, worn out faces  
Bright and early for their daily races  
Going nowhere, going nowhere  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~**~*~**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~  
  
He stood in his apartment, looking down at the metal weapon in his hand.  
  
The world would have been so much better if he hadn't been born.   
  
He could still fix that problem. He put the gun on the table, and looked out the window.  
  
His face contorted, and his eyes filled with tears.   
  
Sobbing, he collapsed on the floor, wrapping his arms around himself. Why?   
  
What had possesed his mother to bring him into life? He'd caused so many people pain.   
  
His friends...Relena...would be so much better off without him.   
  
He was supposed to be the perfect soldier. But he wasn't. His lack of emotion had been a sign of weakness.   
  
He was hiding from his pain. Hiding from who he was afraid he really was.  
  
*~~*~***~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~~**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~ ~~~  
And their tears are filling up their glasses  
No expression, no expression  
Hide my head I want to drown my sorrow  
No tommorow, no tommorow  
  
!~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~**~*~**~**~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~~**~*~~**~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~**~~*  
  
He reached over and took the gun, tears still coursing down his cheeks. He had no right to live.  
  
Not when he had taken the lives of so many people who did. It was ironic in a way.  
  
He was supposed to go back to being a normal teenager. But he never was one.  
  
Sometimes he would laugh coldly at the bustling people of earth. But now, as he sat in his apartment,  
  
tears blinding his sight and ready to take his own life, he realized the whole time he had envied them.  
  
*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~~**~~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~~**~*~*~~**~*~*~*~*~*~  
And I find it kind of funny  
I find it kind of sad  
The dreams in which I'm dying  
Are the best I've ever had  
*~*~*~*~*~*~**~*~~**~*~*~~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~**~*~**~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~**~~*~**~*~*  
As he raised the gun to himself, he heard the door open, and saw Relena standing there, a present in hand,   
  
and a big smile on her face. But when she spotted me on the floor, she screamed, dropped her present and ran over to him.  
  
She kneeled in front of him and he pointed the gun at her. She didn't flinch, didn't even move. She just stared at him.  
  
"Were you going to do it?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Heero.."  
  
She leaned forward and wrapped her arms around him. He tried to resist, tried to shy away her warmth.   
  
But he couldn't. Letting out another sob, he dropped the gun and fell into her embrace.  
  
He cried into her shoulder, as she murmured soft words to him. He tightened his hold on her.  
  
"You shouldn't have come."  
  
" I'm so glad I did."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Because I love you. And I would die without you."  
  
"No. Your so much better without me.."  
  
"Heero Yuy!"  
  
"What? It's true...you know it is."  
  
"What I don't know, is why your doing this in the first place."  
*~*~*~*~**~~**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~~  
  
I find it hard to tell you  
'Cos I find it hard to take  
When people run in circles  
It's a very, very  
Mad World   
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~**~*~**~  
  
"I don't deserve this..."  
  
She pulled back, holding him at arms length. She gazed at him softly, and he had to look away.  
  
"You don't deserve what, Heero?"  
  
"My friends...You..."  
  
She pulled back, standing up and walking towards her fallen gift.   
  
For a moment, a sense of complete panic fell across him, as he thought she was going to leave.   
  
But instead, she took her present, unwrapped it, and held it out.   
  
It appeared to be a video. She walked over to his VCR, and put it in. Picking up the controler, she silently pressed play, and began to watch.   
  
From his place on the floor, he heard a chorused announcement come from the speakers.  
  
"HAPPY BIRTHDAY HEERO."  
  
He had not heard those words since he was four years old.   
  
A time, when his head had been filled with nothing but fond memories.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~**~~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~~**~~*~~**~~**~*~*~*~**~*~~*~**~*~*~*~*~*~*~~**  
Children waiting for the day they feel good  
Happy Birthday, Happy Birthday  
Made to feel the way that every child should  
Sit and listen, sit and listen  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~~**~*~**~*~*~~**~~**~*~**~**~**~**~**~*~*~*~*~**~~**~*~~*~  
  
He stood silently, and sank down beside Relena, his eyes glued to the television screen, in a way he had never experienced before.   
  
There, his friends happy faces were right in the camera, grinning at him.  
  
"Hey, Heero! This.."  
  
"Is A.."  
  
"Video"  
  
"Made by us."  
  
"To wish you"  
  
"A."  
  
"HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!"  
  
Each of his friends, finished eachothers sentences. He watched silently, as his friends continuously appeared on screen.   
  
Playing out inside jokes, memories, teasing him, mocking him, even having a Yuy glare contest.  
  
And at the end, a message was recorded from each of his friends.   
  
He was even tempted to laugh, something he had not felt for a very long time, when Wufei finished his message, which was less than inspiring,   
  
and Sally appeared slapping him playfully, and looking apologetically in to the screen.  
  
"Sorry, Heero. You know Wufei..."  
  
"And what is that supposed to mean, Woman?"  
  
"You want to know?"  
  
They walked of screen characteristically arguing, and Duo appeared on screen,   
  
smiling, and he spoke the words that meant more to Heero than anything.  
  
"Hey, He-Man. I just wanted you to know, that I'll always be there for you, buddy. I know things  
  
havn't been easy for you, and if you ever need to talk, you know where to find me. What I'm   
  
trying to say is, your not alone, Man. And no matter what happens, always remember that I love   
  
ya. Happy birthday, Bud, and many more to come."  
  
When Relena turned to tape off, he sat there staring at the blank screen.  
  
Duo had always been there for him, ever since they had first met.  
  
*~**~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~~**~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~~*~*  
  
Went to school and I was very nervous  
No one knew me, no one knew me  
Hello teacher tell me what's my lesson  
Look right through me, look right through me  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~***~*~*~*~~**~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~  
  
Still, he did not know why she had shown him this. He still knew he did not deserve a place in any of their hearts.  
  
He turned to the girl, and sighed.  
  
"They work to hard for me."  
  
It was then, that he realised the girl was crying.  
  
He reached to touch her cheek, and was surprised when she pushed him down, kissing him softly.  
  
Her lips moved all over his face. His cheeks, his closed eyes, his forehead,  
  
before returing down to his lips, placing a few lingering kisses.   
  
When she rolled to the side, she brushed his bangs back. It was then he realised she understood.  
  
*~*~*~~**~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~*~*~~**~*~~*~**~*~~*~*~**~**~*~*~*~**~~**~*~*~~*~  
And I find it kind of funny  
I find it kind of sad  
The dreams in which I'm dying  
Are the best I've ever had  
  
*~*~*~*~*~**~~**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~~**~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
"Heero," She whispered finally. "It's because we love you. Not because we pity you."  
  
"I don't even deserve your pity."  
  
She shushed him, kissing his head.  
  
"Don't do this. I know you don't want it, but let me help you. Stay with me."  
  
His eyes faltered. And she took his hand.  
  
"I know it won't be easy. I know you won't get better over night. But you have to realise that I  
  
love you for who you are. And they do too. Duo especially.  
  
He befriended you through it all. And we want you to be happy."  
  
He breathed, his thoughts grasping the love he was receiving from her, and his best friends.  
  
"We made that video, because we want you to know. Know that your not alone."  
  
He looked up at her, his breath catching.  
  
"Do you love me, Heero?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
She leaned over and kissed him.  
  
"Then hold on to that. Know that my love is returned no matter what. And the love you have for your friends as well."  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~**~*~*~*~**~*~*~~**~*~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~~**~~*~  
I find it hard to tell you  
'Cos I find it hard to take  
When people run in circles  
It's a very, very  
Mad World   
**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~**~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
He nodded, and whispered against her shoulder. "I'll try."  
And two years later, Duo gave him a picture for his birthday. Framed, and enlargened slightly.  
  
But perfect.  
  
The picture was of Duo, Relena, and Heero. Their arms draped over eachother.  
  
Heero was smiling, the first true smile he had given in years.  
The end.  
  
Wooah. That was the first sad/ suicidal fic I've ever written. Hoped you liked it. Actually, the song made me think of the situation. Personally, I like the idea of Heero being happy and all that..but hey, it's real life. But I wasn't about to make it a sad ending, oh no! ^-^. This fic was to show Relena help him out of his situation. Also, in a lot of fics, it's either 1x2, Duo and Heero fighting over Relena, Duo helping Heero get with Relena, and so on. I just wanted to write one that just showed their friendship. No, romance traingles, setting up, or anything like that in between. Anyways, hoped you liked it. Please review. I don't think I'll be writting many fics like these, but I still want to see how I did. Thanks! Mad World  
Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing. And I don't own Mad World.  
  
A/N: Tear Jerker. I warn you. It's very sad!  
______________________________________________________________________________  
  
Everyone was trying to help him. Make him feel better about who he was. Did they understand?   
  
No. Never. How could they? The other pilots could, maybe. But they were to wrapped up in their   
  
own lives to notice the unhappiness in his. Unhappiness? That was an understatement. Duo,   
  
Trowa, Quatre and Wufei...He didn't deserve their friendship. Nor did he deserve the affection   
  
he got from Relena. Or her love. Would she still love him if she had seen all the things he had   
  
done? He'd demolished entire cities, eliminated entire populations. Just like that little girl and   
  
her dog. And yet, even now as the war is over, people talked to him kindly, and didn't hold   
  
anything against him. Don't they understand? They run around, smiling, as if life has meaning.  
  
They rushed past him in a whirl, even his bestfriend. Duo had Hilde, a job, everything a guy   
  
could want. His life seemed to be going somewhere....  
  
~***~*~~**~~**~*~*~*~**~*~*~**~***~*~*~*~*~**~*~**~**~*~*~**~*~*~*~~**~*~*~*  
All around me are familiar faces  
Worn out places, worn out faces  
Bright and early for their daily races  
Going nowhere, going nowhere  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~**~*~**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~  
  
He stood in his apartment, looking down at the metal weapon in his hand. The world would   
  
have been so much better if he hadn't been born. He could still fix that problem. He put the gun   
  
on the table, and looked out the window. His face contorted, and his eyes filled with tears.   
  
Sobbing, he collapsed on the floor, wrapping his arms around himself. Why? What had possesed   
  
his mother to bring him into life? He'd caused so many people pain. His friends...Relena...would   
  
be so much better off without him. He was supposed to be the perfect soldier. But he wasn't. His   
  
lack of emotion had been a sign of weakness. He was hiding from his pain. Hiding from who he   
  
was afraid he really was.  
  
*~~*~***~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~~**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~ ~~~  
And their tears are filling up their glasses  
No expression, no expression  
Hide my head I want to drown my sorrow  
No tommorow, no tommorow  
  
!~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~**~*~**~**~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~~**~*~~**~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~**~~*  
  
He reached over and took the gun, tears still coursing down his cheeks. He had no right to live.  
  
Not when he had taken the lives of so many people who did. It was ironic in a way. He was   
  
supposed to go back to being a normal teenager. But he never was one. Sometimes her would   
  
laugh coldly at the bustling people of earth. But now, as he sat in his apartment, tears blinding   
  
his sight and ready to take his own life, he realized the whole time he had envied them.  
  
*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~~**~~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~~**~*~*~~**~*~*~*~*~*~  
And I find it kind of funny  
I find it kind of sad  
The dreams in which I'm dying  
Are the best I've ever had  
*~*~*~*~*~*~**~*~~**~*~*~~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~**~*~**~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~**~~*~**~*~*  
As he raised the gun to himself, he heard the door open, and saw Relena standing there, a   
  
present in hand, and a big smile on her face. But when she spotted me on the floor, she   
  
screamed, dropped her present and ran over to him. She kneeled in front of him and he pointed  
  
the gun at her. She didn't flinch, didn't even move. She just stared at him.  
  
"Were you going to do it?"  
"Yes."  
"Heero.."  
She leaned forward and wrapped her arms around him. He tried to resist, tried to shy away her  
  
warmth. But he couldn't. Letting out another sob, he dropped the gun and fell into her embrace.  
  
He cried into her shoulder, as she murmured soft words to him. He tightened his hold on her.  
  
"You shouldn't have come."  
  
" I'm so glad I did."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Because I love you. And I would die without you."  
  
"No. Your so much better without me.."  
  
"Heero Yuy!"  
  
"What? It's true...you know it is."  
  
"What I don't know, is why your doing this in the first place."  
*~*~*~*~**~~**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~~  
  
I find it hard to tell you  
'Cos I find it hard to take  
When people run in circles  
It's a very, very  
Mad World   
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~**~*~**~  
  
"I don't deserve this..."  
  
She pulled back, holding him at arms length. She gazed at him softly, and he had to look away.  
  
"You don't deserve what, Heero?"  
  
"My friends...You..."  
  
She pulled back, standing up and walking towards her fallen gift. For a moment, a sense of   
  
complete panic fell across him, as he thought she was going to leave. But instead, she took her   
  
present, unwrapped it, and held it out. It appeared to be a video. She walked over to his VCR,   
  
and put it in. Picking up the controler, she silently pressed play, and began to watch. From his   
  
place on the floor, he heard a chorused announcement come from the speakers.  
  
"HAPPY BIRTHDAY HEERO."  
  
He had not heard those words since he was four years old. A time, when his head had been filled  
  
with nothing but fond memories.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~**~~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~~**~~*~~**~~**~*~*~*~**~*~~*~**~*~*~*~*~*~*~~**  
Children waiting for the day they feel good  
Happy Birthday, Happy Birthday  
Made to feel the way that every child should  
Sit and listen, sit and listen  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~~**~*~**~*~*~~**~~**~*~**~**~**~**~**~*~*~*~*~**~~**~*~~*~  
  
He stood silently, and sank down beside Relena, his eyes glued to the television screen, in a way  
  
he had never experienced before. There, his friends happy faces were right in the camera,   
  
grinning at him.  
  
"Hey, Heero! This.."  
  
"Is A.."  
  
"Video"  
  
"Made by us."  
  
"To wish you"  
  
"A."  
  
"HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!"  
  
Each of his friends, finished eachothers sentences. He watched silently, as his friends   
  
continuously appeared on screen. Playing out inside jokes, memories, teasing him, mocking him,   
  
even having a Yuy glare contest. And at the end, a message was recorded from each of his  
  
friends. He was even tempted to laugh, something he had not felt for a very long time, when   
  
Wufei finished his message, which was less than inspiring, and Sally appeared slapping him   
  
playfully, and looking apologetically in to the screen.  
  
"Sorry, Heero. You know Wufei..."  
  
"And what is that supposed to mean, Woman?"  
  
"You want to know?"  
  
They walked of screen characteristically arguing, and Duo appeared on screen, smiling, and he   
  
spoke the words that meant more to Heero than anything.  
  
"Hey, He-Man. I just wanted you to know, that I'll always be there for you, buddy. I know things  
  
havn't been easy for you, and if you ever need to talk, you know where to find me. What I'm   
  
trying to say is, your not alone, Man. And no matter what happens, always remember that I love   
  
ya. Happy birthday, Bud, and many more to come."  
  
When Relena turned to tape off, he sat there staring at the blank screen. Duo had always been   
  
there for him, ever since they had first met.  
  
*~**~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~~**~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~~*~*  
  
Went to school and I was very nervous  
No one knew me, no one knew me  
Hello teacher tell me what's my lesson  
Look right through me, look right through me  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~***~*~*~*~~**~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~  
  
Still, he did not know why she had shown him this. He still knew he did not deserve a place  
  
in any of their hearts. He turned to the girl, and sighed.  
  
"They work to hard for me."  
  
It was then, that he realised the girl was crying. He reached to touch her cheek, and was   
  
surprised when she pushed him down, kissing him softly.  
  
Her lips moved all over his face. His cheeks, his closed eyes, his forehead, before returing down   
  
to his lips, placing a few lingering kisses. When she rolled to the side, she brushed his bangs  
  
back. It was then he realised she understood.  
  
*~*~*~~**~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~*~*~~**~*~~*~**~*~~*~*~**~**~*~*~*~**~~**~*~*~~*~  
And I find it kind of funny  
I find it kind of sad  
The dreams in which I'm dying  
Are the best I've ever had  
  
*~*~*~*~*~**~~**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~~**~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
"Heero," She whispered finally. "It's because we love you. Not because we pity you."  
  
"I don't even deserve your pity."  
  
She shushed him, kissing his head.  
  
"Don't do this. I know you don't want it, but let me help you. Stay with me."  
  
His eyes faltered. And she took his hand.  
  
"I know it won't be easy. I know you won't get better over night. But you have to realise that I  
  
love you for who you are. And they do too. Duo especially. He befriended you through it all. And  
  
we want you to be happy."  
  
He breathed, his thoughts grasping the love he was receiving from her, and his best friends.  
  
"We made that video, because we want you to know. Know that your not alone."  
  
He looked up at her, his breath catching.  
  
"Do you love me, Heero?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
She leaned over and kissed him.  
  
"Then hold on to that. Know that my love is returned no matter what. And the love you have  
  
for your friends as well."  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~**~*~*~*~**~*~*~~**~*~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~~**~~*~  
I find it hard to tell you  
'Cos I find it hard to take  
When people run in circles  
It's a very, very  
Mad World   
**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~**~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
He nodded, and whispered against her shoulder. "I'll try."  
And two years later, Duo gave him a picture for his birthday. Framed, and enlargened slightly.  
  
But perfect.  
  
The picture was of Duo, Relena, and Heero. Their arms draped over eachother.  
  
Heero was smiling, the first true smile he had given in years.  
The end.  
  
Wooah. That was the first sad/ suicidal fic I've ever written. Hoped you liked it. Actually, the song made me think of the situation. Personally, I like the idea of Heero being happy and all that..but hey, it's real life. But I wasn't about to make it a sad ending, oh no! ^-^. This fic was to show Relena help him out of his situation. Also, in a lot of fics, it's either 1x2, Duo and Heero fighting over Relena, Duo helping Heero get with Relena, and so on. I just wanted to write one that just showed their friendship. No, romance traingles, setting up, or anything like that in between. Anyways, hoped you liked it. Please review. I don't think I'll be writting many fics like these, but I still want to see how I did. Thanks! 


End file.
